Though, to be honest, I don’t think there was any news that I was actually hoping for. No news is good news, right?? When I emailed my doctor the other day about not feeling 100%, she suggested that I do some more blood work to get a big picture view of what’s going on. In my mind, I was thinking that would be a great way to eliminate worrying about anemia. Rule shit out. Sounds good!
Until I got my numbers back today.
This sucks. |
As it happens, I am even more anemic than I was last year. What the ever-lovin’ and actual fuck is that all about?!?
My first reaction was just pure rage. I’m still sort of there, honestly, except that now I’m also just really, really sad. I feel like my body is betraying me. And I wonder what it is exactly that I’m doing wrong. Besides that whole “not having enough iron” thing. I eat right. I don’t feel like I train excessively. I sleep enough. I’m a good person. Why me?
Okay, that was melodramatic. But, as you may have noticed, I’m throwing myself a little pity party today. Yay. Everybody loves those.
So, the first thing on the To Do List is to get over myself and make a plan, because whining about things doesn’t fix them! I know full well that this is going to take some time to get over, so I might as well get my head straight and figure out something productive to do with all that time that I won’t be running.
Wasn’t I also just saying that I wanted to spend more time working on the blog?? Silver lining, baby!
dion.middelkoop says
So sorry to hear that… Now I can’t help you with a book, but I have been reading: http://www.britishmilersclub.com/bmcnews/index.asp
as I’m trying to get back into track running, and some of the articals are great…
Laura says
Oh Pahla, I’m so sorry to heat that. I wouldn’t call this a pity party. I would call it a normal human reaction to a situation that totally sucks! I wish I could fix it for you. I haven’t been reading much lately, but the first book that comes to mind is The Rosie Project (if you haven’t already read it).