I was running with my client who is a doctor today, and among the many topics we covered over the course of three very windy miles was my continued struggle with allergies and asthma this spring. It’s been a rough couple of months, you guys.
I thought I was soldiering through pretty well, to be honest. I started taking another medication a little over a month ago, and I absolutely felt like my symptoms were better. I don’t have any of the usual sneezing or watering eyes or anything – which is awesome! – but the crap with my lungs isn’t getting any better. And it’s weird. I don’t really feel like I’m wheezing, exactly, but almost the minute I start to run, I feel drained. Total muscle fatigue. I mean, I’m barely across the street and I’m already wondering when I can take a walking break. It sucks, but I’ve been pushing through it, because, really, what are my options here? Not running? Uhhh, that’s a no.
And when I said to my client who is a doctor, that I was doing okay, and I was living with it, and it wasn’t really that bad, she said something so powerful that it stopped me in my tracks:
“Pahla, you deserve to feel better than this.”
It’s sad/funny/ironic how often I’ve said those words to my clients, and yet somehow I didn’t notice when it applied to me. I mean, I help people feel better and eat better and move better for a freakin’ living! Of course I believe that everybody should feel awesome all the time! So, how in the world did I not even notice that I was making excuses for myself and figuring out workarounds (Oh, I’ll just run slower. I just won’t run as far.) to accommodate my diminished capacity?
I have no idea. But now it’s out there: I need to raise my standards for myself. I emailed my doctor as soon as I got home, and I’ll let you know where we go from here. It was strangely exhilarating and almost scary to think that I could get back to feeling 100%. I’ve been hovering down around 85% for so long that I hadn’t really let myself think about feeling better, but now I want it so bad I can taste it.
While I was driving home, I realized that her words hit me so hard for another reason, too. I’ve been having an internal struggle lately with the work that I do. (Not the clients that I see in person, they’re awesome.) I have a real passion and desire to succeed with the workout videos I make for YouTube (and the website I run in conjunction with that) as well as writing for this blog. But somehow, I seem to have accepted… I don’t know what to call it. Mediocrity? I’ve never quite pushed myself to grow the blog the way I wanted to, even though I love writing, I love telling my stories and I love connecting with other runners.
I deserve to feel better than this.
So I made the decision that I’ve been hemming and hawing about for – oh, I wish I could say weeks or months, but it’s actually been years. I’m moving over to WordPress! I know it’s a better fit for bloggers who are serious about blogging, and that includes me.
I’ve done the research ad nauseam, so now it’s just a matter of making it happen. Fingers crossed I don’t fuck it up somehow and lose five years of posts! I truly have no idea if I’m technically savvy enough to migrate my own stuff, and I hope that if I manage to erase all my subscribers that you’ll come and find me again. Thanks in advance for that!
I want you to know that if there’s something that’s been bugging you lately or weighing on your mind, the answer is this:
That comic strip is hilarious. I can so relate to that. As for WordPress…um… DUH! It’s SO MUCH better. And from what I remember, a fairly easy transition. I think you’ll find it not nearly as big of a deal as it might seem now. Look forward to checking out your new site!
Taking the Long Way Home says
I used to write a medical blog and I moved from blogger to word press. I was hit with the worst trolls ever. I quit that blog. When I finally got up the courage to start the running blog, it was back to blogger for me. I’m ok with it. but I’ll follow you wherever you go.
HoHo Runs says
What a powerful statement!
Right?!? I keep thinking about it!
Thanks Wendy! I’ve tried WP a few times in the past, too, and found it so complicated and frustrating. That’s why I’ve been putting this off, but it looks like there are plenty of companies who are willing to make it more idiot-proof these days, so fingers crossed!
I didn’t know you were ever on blogger! When I “met” you, you were already on WP. Thanks for the vote of confidence. 🙂
Michael Weatherly says
I feel you on the allergies. I don’t get runny or itchy….I just get sinus issues and headaches…so miserable. Ok, I’ll follow you on over to word press it’s too daunting for me! Good luck!
No way! I was totally on Blogger when I met you. I just switched so long ago that you probably don’t even remember.