I had a really nice four mile run this morning and I’m going to tell you more about it in a minute, but first let me start with the dog:
There I was, running along, listening to my music way too loud, when I saw a woman with a medium-sized poodle-looking dog on a leash walking toward me. Super cute, fluffy dog. I watched as she pulled the leash a little closer to her, which, as a runner, I totally appreciate more than the dog-walkers who let their dogs roam about on long leashes designed to clothesline me at the ankles. As I got closer, I smiled and said good morning to her, and I was just looking down at the cute puppy dog and about to use my high squeaky voice to say hello when that fucker lunged at me.
I mean luuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnged. Teeth bared. Little body on high alert, ready to eat me. She had to use both hands on the leash to keep him under “control.” And it was funny because I was already thinking about today’s post when it happened, but there it was, the perfect illustration of what I wanted to talk about:
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Me. Every time. |
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There were so many of these, and they were all funny. Google “expectations vs. reality.” |
Oh, yes. Last year, I fully expected to be faster by the time I rolled into 2015. Nope. I’m slower by a few minutes. Now, how did that happen? It’s been frustrating. I’ll just have to make adjustments and keep trying. The reality is, I love it and will continue no matter what my time is. The adjustment may have to be with my mind. Oh, and I recently had an unleashed dog puts it’s mouth on my ass with the owner standing in the front yard. Thankfully, it didn’t bite down. I think you will get back to exactly where you want to be! Keep at it! Just run this race Sunday for “fun” and see what happens. You may be surprised.
I struggled with this for years! I think the brain badly wants a rational answer for everything and when there isn’t one, well, it sucks. It’s hard to let go of the runner you were or you thought you could be again….and who knows? You may very well be that runner again or better. Mostly I’m at peace with where I am now, but not always. I think the whole ‘continuous improvement’ thing is so ingrained in us. But running for the sheer joy of it is winning too. That’s what I tell myself anyway. Damn that dog. Glad you didn’t get bit!
50 miles a week… That is more than enough to race well off… In fact that’s sort of the mileage I run! (Yes I would like to be over 60, but that just doesn’t seem to happen any more!)
Pahla, I have definitely (and still am!) been guilty of this and it’s tough to “retrain” your brain. I had no idea, until now, that you struggled with anemia; upon the recommendation of a friend, I have an appointment Monday morning to get my iron levels checked. Sounds like you are starting to come to terms with the “current” Pahla, not some other Pahla that is unrealistic to the progress you’ve made. It’s a tough corner to turn and you have a great attitude about this! You are the best you that you can be – woo hoo!!
Um, yes, this is totally me. Especially since I’m always starting and stopping running. Either because I get injured (maybe because I don’t manage my expectations… vicious cycle) or to make a baby.
Also, I know this wasn’t the main point of your post but I am ALWAYS running past dogs completely off leash. Sometimes before I can even SEE the owner. And it always makes me ANGRY. Use a leash people!!!
I have been caught in this trap so many times. I played college basketball, so anything athletic was easy and I was fast without any effort. I need to keep reminding myself that I’m not that person and in that place anymore and that’s okay. You get a lot further when you base yourself in reality and stop making comparisons 🙂